


Safe House

by jedi_fish81



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-23 15:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_fish81/pseuds/jedi_fish81
Summary: This work was written for a HanLeia Secret Santa Gift Exchange project and has been officially gifted to my giftee, Friskynotebook.  This will probably turn into a multi-chapter fic.This work is set pre-esb on Echo Base.





	1. Chapter 1

Han walked down the Falcon’s ramp expecting to see Leia waiting for him to either yell at him for being two weeks late or hand him his next assignment. Instead, he was greeted by an inventory droid, he handed off his manifest and headed off to find her. She was always nearby when he returned, even if she was trying to make her proximity look like a coincidence. 

“Carlist.” He addressed General Rieekan casually walking into the command center. “You seen Leia?” 

Rieekan shrugged and shook his head. The disapproving look that he and half of the Command Center shot him made it painfully obvious that the princess did not want to see him. 

Han sighed and walked off, he was two weeks late and he was sure she thought he’d left for good. He was sure she thought he’d lied when he said he’d stay for a while. “Kriff.” He cursed himself under his breath as he walked to her quarters passing several enlisted and a handful of the Rogues on the way. They all looked at him as if he wasn’t supposed to be there, as if he’d betrayed them all. 

“Didn’t think you were coming back Solo.” Hobbie spoke as Han stopped in front of Leia’s door. “She sure as hell thought you were gone for good.” 

“I was afraid of that.” He spoke flatly. 

“What happened?” 

“Blew the hyperdrive, had to use the sublights to get back.” 

“You think Leia’s gonna buy that?” 

Han ran his hand over his face. “Why don’t you start a pool?” He growled referencing the ongoing betting that went on in the Rogue Squadron hangar about his relationship with the princess. He sighed leaning against the doorframe to Leia’s quarters and resting his head against his forearm. He hit the chime instead of the comm, hoping she’d answer the door. 

“Han?” Luke stopped mid conversation with Wedge. 

“Hey kid.” Han turned away from Leia’s door. “You seen her?” 

“Han, she’s real upset. She won’t even talk to me about it. She spends every night in the Command Center trying to reach you.” Wedge spoke quietly. “I caught her crying in the mess this morning.” 

“Han, I’m not sure she wants to see you.” Luke spoke in that oddly plying Jedi way he used when he thought he was trying to be gentle. 

“Luke, where is she?” 

Luke sighed. “I have no idea.” 

Han nodded turning back to the door willing her to answer. 

Leia stared at the Falcon in the main hangar as if it were a figment of her imagination—as if she’d willed it into existence. She could have sworn she’d felt Han’s life force snuffed out days ago and she had this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that Chewie and the ship had returned without him. She smiled to herself, the last time she’d seen the Falcon, she and Han had stayed up the all night before he’d left making out like the wolf was ending, he’d promised to stay and when he hadn’t returned on time, she’d convinced herself he’d been lying. She’d been so angry and hurt and then she could have sworn she’d felt him die and completely turned off her force sense just like Master Ferus had taught her years before. She swallowed hard and forced herself to walk up the ramp, with that same uncertainty she’d had that first night she’d had a nightmare so horrible that she needed someone, anyone...even Han. 

Chewbacca lowed at her in greeting. 

“Is he here?” 

(No, little princess.)

Leia felt as though all of the blood had drained from her body, as if her bones had suddenly turned to bacta gel. She tried to speak but only an odd primal sound emanated from her. She was sure he was gone, either as a prisoner of The Hutts or dead. She looked at Chewie and willed herself to stay on her feet. 

(He’s off looking for you.)

She steadied herself on the Dejarik table. “But he’s here?” 

(Yes, cub is here. He’s alright.)

She nodded walking through the Falcon to the crew quarters. She was suddenly so tired and she never slept better than on the Falcon. After that first on base night terror that had drawn her to Han like some sort of tractor beam, she’d spent most nights in his bunk, safe in his arms. Even when things were still just platonic between the two of them, she’d slept here and in their odd twilight understanding he’d held her. When Alderaan had vaporized in her dreams or when Vader’s breathing invaded her senses and she dreamed that she was back in that sterile prison cell on Death Star, he’d let her curl in close to his chest and he’d whisper reassurances against her hair until she drifted back to sleep. She needed him, needed this ship he’d been gone long enough now for her to see just how dependent she’d become on this place on his arms and his gentle voice in the night. She took off her boots and her blaster rig and curled up in the unmade bunk. 

Han walked into the lounge and grabbed an ale out of the cold storage. He sighed staring at the lavender fizzaid that he kept for Leia. He’d done it this time, he was sure of it. He’d fucked up everything. He scratched at the bandage on his chest and sighed. He walked through the lounge and down the corridor to his quarters, he figured he’d take a shower and give her some time maybe she’d be in the mess for dinner and he could talk to her. 

He stopped short when he saw her. Leia. His Leia. No, she was not his, not yet. He shook his head, but gods she’d felt like his the night before he’d shipped out half dressed, hands in his hair, lips like silk and her eyes... Gods, her eyes. He swallowed hard at the sight of her, in his bed, his bed? Their bed? As if he’d never left, as if she’d been here all along. 

He smiled slipping off his blaster rig and taking off his boots moving to join her, to pull her into his arms. Instead he hesitated he was two weeks late, he’d been gone so long, and there was that chill he’d felt in the command center. Even though it wasn’t his fault, he felt as though he’d lied to her and let her down. Because he loved her, and when he though he’d taken his last breath, her face was the last image he saw. “You have to tell her I’m sorry, you have to tell her I’ve always loved her.” He’d spoken to Chewie right as everything went black. 

Leia felt his arm draped around her waist and then the warmth of his body fitted against her, she sighed not caring if it was actually him or some sort of twilight sleep Illusion. She felt his lips against her temple and the scruff of his chronically unshaven face. 

“Lelila.” He whispered the childhood nickname that she’d shared with him before he’d left. A diminutive of her name that only family used, family and Han. 

She just lie there afraid to open her eyes, afraid that he wasn’t real and that she was back in her cold bunk alone. 

“Hey sweetheart.” He spoke gently kissing her the shell of her ear. “You awake?” 

She shook her head.

“You sure?” 

She shook her head. 

Han kissed her neck. “Been a while since you’ve slept.” 

“Since you left.” 

“I’m home.” 

“Of course you’re home, you’re always home on the Falcon.” 

He shook his head. “M’home now.” 

Leia moved onto her back and looked at him. 

He looked into her eyes for a long time. Her deep brown eyes, the color of caff and whiskey of chocolate and soft bantha leather. “Alright, princess?” 

She reached up and ran her fingers along his jaw, she wasn’t going to cry. She didn’t want to be one of those women that cried tears of relief or joy at the sight of her lover, but gods she could feel her throat tighten and her eyes stinging. She pushed out of his arms and sat up. 

“Lei?” He moved onto his back rather than follow he traced his fingers up the middle of her back. 

She hugged her knees to her chest. 

Han waited, not wanting to rush her, he just kept rubbing her back, keeping connection. “We lost our hyperdrive and had to limp back with our sublights.” 

“You died.” She whispered. “I know, I felt it. I felt you die.” 

He sighed, he wanted to keep it from her. “Pirates. Chewie got us out of there and into hyperspace. The hyperdrive failed just after the jump.” 

She moved to look at him. 

He looked into her eyes again, holding her gaze and softening his own. They had spent so much time screaming and yelling at each other, a predictable push and pull that he’d become comfortable with that this new tenderness, while nice was difficult to navigate. Before, he knew two things, they’d scream and yell and push and pull and at night she’d still find her way to the Falcon and let him hold her while she slept. Now, his predictions were off, where he thought she’d yell at him for being late, instead she was tearful and hurt, but not at all angry. 

He sat up and she watched him wince a bit. 

“Han?” 

“I’m alright, just sore and still weaker than I’d like to be.” He spoke holding his hand over the dressings on his chest. “Chewie patched me up and got me to a med center. Still gotta clean up the blood in the lounge and the medbunk.” 

She shook her head. “I’ll clean it up.” 

“No, sweetheart I’ll let your maintenance guys do it.” 

“You hate strangers on the Falcon.” 

“Don’t want you doin’ it.” He stroked her cheek. 

She nodded. “I’ll take care of you then.” 

“You gotta do somethin’ huh sweetheart?” He spoke unbuttoning his shirt. 

She nodded watching him. 

“One of ‘em had a light saber he’d stolen from somewhere.” He spoke shrugging out of his shirt. “Tried to draw and quarter me.” He watched her trace her fingers along the bandages that stretched from his shoulder, diagonally down across the middle of his chest under his opposite arm. “Lost a lot of blood and my heart kind of stopped for a bit there. Chewie got me stabilized and we limped to Hosnian Prime where he got me medical attention. Once they stabilized me enough to travel we headed back here.” 

Leia nodded silently and looked up at him. “You’re grounded Captain.” She spoke authoritatively. “No more runs for a while.” And then he heard her voice break, heard it crack right down the middle. “Han, I can’t risk you like this.” She lowered her voice to a whisper when it caught in her throat. “I’ve lost everyone else, I can’t lose you.” 

“Leia.” He started gently. 

“No, I can’t go through that again.” 

“We’re at war Lelila, every day is a risk.” 

Leia sighed. “Then I go with you on your runs from now on.” 

“I don’t think High Command will like that idea.” 

“I don’t care. Remember when they wanted me in a safe house?” 

He nodded. 

“This is my safe house. This is where I feel comfortable, this is where I can be myself. In thi bunk, in your arms, this is the only place that I can sleep.” 

He smiled at her. “You wanna move in with me highness?” He almost laughed. 

She nodded pressing her hand against the middle of his chest gently to feel his heartbeat. 

He sighed. “Lei...”

She looked at him and the way her eyes looked, the way that the color had drained from her face, he’d never seen her that open, that exposed before. She let him see her, she let him see how shaken she was by his wounds and his late arrival. 

“Alright, your highness.” He cupped her jaw. “You can live with me and the Wook, but don’t expect old habits to change just ‘cause you’re here.” 

She smiled at him and leaned into his hand. “I think you’ll like me being here more than you realize.” 

“Most of your stuff is here anyway.” 

“If you weren’t hurt...”

“If I weren’t hurt you wouldn’t be insisting on moving in, your highnessness. You’d be yelling at me about something in the south passage.” 

She shook her head. “I think we worked that out before you left, or have you forgotten already?” 

“I don’t know, maybe I could use a little reminder.” 

“Your dressings need changed.” 

“Ah come on sweetheart. I’ve been thinking about that night for well over a standard month.” 

Leia sighed shaking her head. “Okay, hotshot.” She kissed him tangling her fingers into his hair. “If you’re good while I change your dressings maybe we could just hide out all afternoon.” 

“I’d like that.” He spoke pulling on the fasteners on her snowsuit. “Maybe you’ll take off your jacket and stay a while.” 

She smiled at him. “The climate controls here are much better than the ones on the base itself.” 

He smiled at her and decided not to tell her that he kept it a little warm so that she’d be warm enough to discard her snowsuit for her leggings and tunic every time she was onboard.


	2. Bacta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it’s a multi-chapter fic now.

“Y’know I was thinking.” Han spoke walking into the lounge freshly showered carrying medical supplies. 

Leia looked up from her datapad and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Once the hyperdrive is fixed, we should go somewhere.” He spoke pulling the waterproofing off of his chest. 

“Han, we’re in the middle of a war.” She went back to what she was reading. “We can’t just run off somewhere.” 

“Well, I gotta take some R&R to recover and you said I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without you.” 

“R&R? You’re not even enlisted.” She set down her datapad to redress his wounds. 

“I was thinking more R&R for you after dealing with me.” 

She rolled her eyes laying out supplies in order. 

He shrugged. “Just thought it might be nice.” He spoke wincing as she removed the old dressings along with some of his chest hair. 

“When was the last time you changed these?” 

“They put ‘em on at the med center.” 

She sighed. “Han...”

“Was trying to get home to you.” 

“Do you have polybiotic?” 

He nodded. “Got plenty of stuff.” 

“You’ve been skimming, haven’t you?” 

“Maybe a little, but I did it for you. Remember you saying once that you’d never set foot in another med center and I wanted to make sure I had everything I need if you got hurt.” 

She looked up at him as she cleaned the wound on his shoulder. She hadn’t realized that he’d been paying such close attention. She looked into his eyes. 

“I got you, princess.” He stroked her cheek. “Told you that before. Meant it too.” 

She nodded just wanting to curl up in his arms, to let him hold her and whisper reassurances into her hair like after one of her nightmares. This entire time had been like a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from. She’d been on autopilot for weeks. She stayed on autopilot for just a little longer, just long enough to finish dressing his wounds. 

“Lei?” He spoke when she had finished checking and re-checking each bandage. 

She looked at him again and he saw her falter, saw her come off autopilot. 

“I’m alright.” He spoke shrugging into his shirt. “Takes more than some pirate with a purple lightsaber to take me out.” He pulled her into his lap and held her tight to his chest. “Had to get back here to you.” 

“Te amo.” She breathed against his chest, slipping into her native language. 

“Te amo.” He spoke into her hair. “Te amo Lelila.” He held her tighter. “Lo siento.” He whispered over and over until he felt her relax a little. “Mi corazon.” 

She looked at him. “Cuando aprendiste Moccoan?” 

He smiled at her. “Mi secreto.” 

She smiled at him. 

“Mi corazon.” 

“I like it when you call me that.” 

He smiled at her. “Are we okay, mi princesa?” 

She nodded curling up against his chest. 

Chewbacca lowed gently as he walked by. (Cub I sent for maintenance to clean your blood)

Han nodded. 

(Didn’t realize you were in here with the little princess). 

“Leia?” He spoke gently. “You want some caff?” 

She nodded. 

“When was the last time you ate?” 

She shrugged. 

“Oh.” Han spoke cooking with his back to her. “I brought it back with me.” 

“What?” She sipped her caff. 

He opened a bulkhead and set a lightsaber on the Dejarik table. “Took that off the fucker who tried to flay me.” 

Leia stared at it, the lightsaber that had almost killed Han. 

“Smaller than Luke’s.” Han commented on the narrower diameter of the hilt. 

She nodded silently, she hadn’t seen it since it was hidden in her chambers on her blockade runner just before her capture. 

“Hey.” Luke walked in. “What’s for dinner?”

Leia looked at him. 

“Kid, you can smell food cooking from ten clicks.” Han commented offhandedly. 

“Hey neat, where’d you find this?” Luke reached for the lightsaber, but it shot off of the table and out of reach before his fingers even grazed it’s intricately carved surface. He jumped back and watched Han stare at Leia as the weapon landed in her hand. 

“Thought so.” Han turned back to the galley stove. 

Luke watched her wield the weapon, perfectly sized to her proportions, it’s royal violet blade humming as it sliced through the air. “Where’d you have that made?” 

“I built it myself.” She spoke disengaging the blade. “I was lost when I was captured. I never thought I’d see it again.” She spoke examining the carbon scoring on the hilt. “Looks like it survived the blast and was picked up by scavengers. 

“You’re a Jedi?” Luke marveled at her as if he’d never expected female Jedi to exist. 

“That is a very long story Luke.” 

“Is that why you were looking for Ben?” 

She sighed getting up. “I don’t want to go into it right now.” She set her caff mug on the counter. “I’m going to go put this away.” 

“She alright?” Luke spoke sitting down in the lounge. 

Han shook his head. “Took that lightsaber off the body of a pirate who tried to kill me with it. I died for a minute or so. Chewie got me stabilized.” He turned and looked at him. “Thing is Luke, she felt it. Felt me die. This whole time, thought I was dead. Now she knows it was her lightsaber.” 

Luke nodded. 

“Did you feel me die?” 

He shook his head. 

Han nodded. “Been hard on her, kid.” He turned off the stove. “Food’s ready if you want to eat.” He spoke taking off after Leia. 

“I should probably go.” Luke called after him. 

“Take some for the road.” Han spoke over his shoulder. “Why don’t we plan on breakfast tomorrow?”

“I’ll comm first.” 

“No.” He walked back in. “You’re welcome here anytime.” He squeezed his shoulder. “Y’know that.”

“I wouldn’t want to walk in on anything.” 

Han sighed. “Don’t worry kid, m’not medically cleared for anything like that.” 

Luke blushed, he’d assumed that Han and Leia were sleeping together, but knowing she’d felt him die had almost confirmed it for him. However, he was not expecting Han to confirm his suspicions so easily. He nodded. 

Leia rolled away from Han half awake. He was soaking wet and shivering in his sleep. The infection she’d noticed that afternoon must have been more advanced than she’d thought. He reached for her in his sleep pulling her into his arms and against his chest. She was awake for sure and she could feel his fever through his shirt. 

“Han.” She shook him. 

“Ich liebe.” He muttered in Corellian. 

“I know.” She soothed. “I’m here Han.” She grabbed his hand and bent his index finger back. 

“Kriff!” He swore. “For fuck’s sakes.” 

“We need to get you to medical.” 

“Can’t, I ain’t enlisted.” He shivered. 

Leia sighed. “You needed bacta right after you were hurt, why didn’t they give a treatment on Hosnian Prime?” 

“They’re pay for play, didn’t have that kind of money.” He shivered watching Leia get dressed. 

“Your reward?” 

“Gave it back a long time ago, hell before we left Yavin.” 

She looked at him. 

He beckoned her to him. “Ain’t in it for the money, Lei.” He stroked her cheek. “M’in it for you.” He kissed her gently. “S’why I stay. Figured you knew that by now.” 

“I had suspected.” She spoke sitting him up. “Let’s get you dressed. I have a friend or two in medical. Tycho’s sister is the on-call at night, she’ll help us.” She helped him pull on a sweater. “Tycho and my sister used to fool around.” 

“He’s soaked.” Dansa spoke as she and Leia removed layers of clothing in the med bay. 

“I’m kriffing freezing.” He stammered trying to wrap himself in blankets. 

“Han you’ve got to cooperate.” Leia spoke unfastening his bloodstripes. 

“Wait.” He grabbed her shoulder. 

“Han they need to get you into the bacta tank before the morning shift comes on. We don’t have a lot of time.” 

“Like a little privacy.” He grumbled. 

Leia looked at him. “Han she’s a medic, you’re not the first man she’s ever seen.” 

“Hart.” He whispered hoping she knew enough Corellian to ask for discretion. 

She furrowed her eyebrows at him. 

He sighed. “Aufgeregt.” 

Her eyes widened as she translated the Corellian and realized her said hart not heart. “My fault?”

He nodded. “Kept ripping my clothes off, he don’t know the difference.” He growled into her ear.

“Leia?” Dansa spoke 

“Give us a minute.” Leia spoke stifling a laugh. 

Han smiled at her. 

Leia watched Han float in the bacta tank hugging his sweater close her chest. 

“Are you alright, Leia?” Dansa handed her a cup of caff. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” She spoke setting Han’s sweater in her lap and taking the caff from her. 

“He’s going to be fine after the soak and a course of strong IV polybiotic. You’ll be able take him back to your quarters before reveille.” 

Leia nodded. 

“He gave you quite a scare didn’t he?” 

She nodded. 

“You love him.” Dansa spoke sitting down on Han’s med bunk with her. 

Leia nodded. 

“He certainly loves you.” Dansa inclined her head toward Han in the bacta tank. “He told me several times.” 

“He was delirious with fever.” Leia dead panned. 

“He’s delirious with you.” Dansa corrected. “Just like Evaan was.” 

Leia sighed a sigh of concession. 

“Leia.” 

She looked at her. 

“Winter survived.” 

“What?” 

“Tycho found her, she’s on Polis Massa. She left yesterday to bring her here. Apparently, Winter and Ami left to retrieve your body from the Emperor. Your father sent them to act on his behalf.” 

Leia just stared at her, she knew the story of her birth on Polis Massa and how her brother was whisked off to Tatooine with Obi Wan and she and her mother were hidden on Alderaan with the Organas. 

“Ami, Ami lived?” Leia whispered, afraid that if she said the words out loud they’d no longer be true.


	3. Preoccupation

Leia watched Han sleep off the sedative tracing the scars left behind from the quick bacta treatment. It was enough to heal the wounds but not enough to heal the scars. He was alive and she just wanted to listen to his heart and watch the rise and fall of his chest. She traced his jaw as he slept, dragging her thumb across the scar on his chin examining every detail. With that Han rolled over in his sleep, captured her in his arms and pulled her in close to his chest. 

“Lass mich schlafen.” He mumbled with his lips pressed against her hair. “Bitte.” 

She took in the scent of him, not the engine grease or even the smell of his soap, underneath all of that, the musk of his skin and she felt her eyes fill. She couldn’t stop it, the dam had broken. She hoped that Han would sleep through it, she didn’t want him to see her like this—messy and emotional, thinking of all the ways he could be killed or captured. Panicked and broken sobbing against his chest, body trembling like a foolish girl hopelessly in love with a wanted man—a man with a death mark bounty. 

“Leia?” He whispered forcing his mind to break the sedation like breaking the surface of water, swimming upward toward the surface, hoping that the surface was indeed above him. “S’alright.” He slurred. “Gonna be fine.” 

She fought valiantly against the emotions welling up and failed miserably, his voice had triggered more tears. She hadn’t cried, really cried since she was a girl. Crying was unfamiliar to her, a weakness she’d never wanted and so, stubborn as she was she easily suppressed it. She hadn’t even cried over Alderaan, or the deaths of so many that she loved. 

Han, barely conscious cupped her head and pressed his lips to her hair, slurring reassurances in a whisper just as he would had she had a nightmare. “Know you can’t stop. S’okay.” He crooned sleepily as if on autopilot. “S’alright. Easy. I got you.” 

She couldn’t bear it. She couldn’t bear the weight of it—the idea of losing him, just as she’d lost everyone else. “Han.” She spoke, her voice hoarse and smoky. “Everyone I’ve ever loved has died.” 

“You love me?” He spoke against her hair. 

“That wasn’t the point of that statement, Han.” She spoke feeling him slip his finger under her chin, knowing that he wanted to see her eyes. She fought him, her eyes red and puffy, the skin of her face too tight. She didn’t want him to see her, didn’t want him to feel responsible for her tears. 

“But you love me, you implied it.” 

She sighed giving in, letting him lift her chin, letting him see her vulnerable as she met his hazel eyes so open, so vulnerable both of them so raw. 

“I’m sorry.” He spoke trying to force the slur out of his voice, but she could tell by his eyes how hard he was fighting to stay awake. 

She nodded closing her eyes as he wiped at her tears. “Han.” Her voice shook uncharacteristically. “I’m afraid.” 

“You?” 

She nodded. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He spoke gently drawing his thumb across her cheekbone and fighting the urge to succumb to sleep, to let the sedation take over. His tongue felt too thick. 

“I’m afraid that if I say it in Basic, it will be your death sentence.” 

“But you feel it?” 

She nodded and tears slipped through her closed closed eyes. 

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be more careful.” 

“What about your bounty?” 

“I’ll handle it.” 

“If you go to him now, you’re as good as dead.” 

“I’ll talk to Carlist.” 

“Is that you or the sedation talking?” 

“Look at me.” 

She opened her eyes. 

“I don’t want you to hurt and if handling my business legitimately will make this hurt less, I’ll do it.”

“But you don’t want to enlist.” 

He shrugged. “Want you to be happy Leia.” 

She ran her fingers through the hair at his temple, searching his eyes and trying to decide whether he meant what he’d said. 

“I love you.” He spoke quietly. “You know?” 

She nodded. “I know, Han.” 

“So, I’ll go talk to Carlist. I’ll go and do the right thing.” 

“Why don’t you wait to decide that after the sedation wears off?” 

He nodded. “Gotta sleep, Lei.” He spoke, his eyes refusing to stay open. 

She kissed him gently. 

Leia walked out of Han’s quarters her thoughts preoccupied with the conversation she and Han had shared as he fought his sedative to comfort her. Was that it? Was he just saying what he thought she wanted to hear to sooth her? She was certain that he wouldn’t do that. That he wouldn’t pay her lip service just calm her, only to hurt her later. She chewed at her cuticle contemplating the weight of Han’s words not really paying attention as she walked into the lounge wearing one of Han’s shirts, her basics and a pair of wool socks. She’d moved in, the Falcon was technically her home now as much as it was Han’s, why get dressed just for a cup of caff in the privacy of her own home. 

“Good morning.” Luke spoke looking up from his caff. 

Leia froze. “Luke?” She managed to keep her poise. “What are you doing here?” 

“Han invited me to breakfast.” 

She nodded. 

“I made caff.” 

She sighed, he’d already seen her wearing Han’s shirt as a night gown, she had two choices she could flee back to Han’s quarters or she just own it and join the farm boy for caff. 

“Good.” She spoke decisively. “I was just going to make some.” She spoke crossing to the galley with her chin up. 

“So, where’s Han?” Luke spoke watching her adjust her caff to cream ratio. 

“Resting.” 

Luke nodded. “Oh...”

“Hungry?” 

He nodded. “It’s alright, I’ll go to mess later...”

“Luke, I can cook.” 

He raised his eyebrows at her. 

“Really.” She answered his silent question. 

“Okay.” He shrugged. 

“So, um I guess you guys stayed up really late last night.” Luke spoke watching her make breakfast, something he never expected to witness. 

“We did have pretty late night.” 

“Guess you missed him.” 

She nodded. 

“You missed morning call.” 

She shrugged. “I’m taking some personal time, Luke.” Her voice was different, hushed and uncertain. 

“How bad is he?” Luke spoke quietly, suddenly worried about both of them. He remembered Han mentioning that Leia had felt him die and he wondered if she was really alright. 

“Better now.” She spoke carefully. “He had a massive infection, they didn’t treat him with bacta on Hosian Prime. He said he couldn’t afford it.” 

Luke nodded and she felt his concern. 

“I sneaked him to medical early this morning when his fever spiked. Dansa, Tycho’s sister sedated him and treated him before the morning shift came in. He’s still really out of it.” 

“How did you get him home?” 

She shrugged. “I’m still sore from taking his weight on the way back from medical.” 

“Leia?” Luke spoke quietly. “Are you alright?” 

She sighed letting her shoulders drop a bit. “I’m as alright as I can be, He’ll recover.” 

“He said you felt him die.” 

She stiffened. “I wish he hadn’t told you that.” 

Luke felt the sudden urge to look away from her, he’d been talking to her back and he suddenly felt like he was violating her space. “He was worried about you Leia.” 

“Still, I don’t think he understood how intimate of a—a, ah...an event it was for me.” 

“You’d have to be pretty intimate with someone to feel something like that.” He spoke offhandedly, not realizing what he’d said. 

“Oh?” She shot back, her voice taking on an icy tone. “I don’t know Luke, you and I never fucked, and I’d bet I’d feel your death as clearly as I felt Han’s.” 

“I...”

“Isn’t that what you’re getting at? That I felt Han die because we must be fucking?” 

“Leia—I.” 

“Well we haven’t.” She tossed his breakfast onto the Dejarik table. “Go tell the Rogues that the Ice Princess and The Smuggler aren’t fucking, that you know firsthand. Straight from the mouth of the Ice Princess herself.” 

“Leia...” 

“You know, those wagers that your boyfriend and his buddies have going are disgusting and cruel.” 

“I’m sorry.” He spoke seeing the hurt in her eyes and feeling the betrayal rising off of her like waves of heat. 

“How can I expect to be taken seriously? I’m their commanding officer and they have a betting pool going about my sexual activities. So, if you came here to gather intel you can fuck off.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” He spoke feeling guilty, because that was what he meant. “But, I mean you’re in his shirt on his ship Leia.” 

“I’ve slept in this shirt since before we reached Yavin.” 

Luke blatantly stared at her, he couldn’t believe that his two best friends had been so close for so long without him noticing. 

“Luke, I don’t have to explain myself to you or anyone.” 

“I—I don’t want you to.” 

“Yeah you do, I can see it all over your face.” 

“Should I go?” 

She sighed rubbing her hands over face. “No.” 

He nodded. 

“Eat your breakfast.” She sat down with her caff. 

“You’re not eating?” 

She shook her head. 

“Han?” 

She nodded. “We had a long night, Luke.” 

He nodded. “You love him don’t you.” 

She nodded. 

“I can’t imagine what that would feel like.” 

Leia looked at him. “It’s um... I can’t describe it, it’s horrifying. I felt like my heart stopped, like I’d been run through.” 

“Where were you when it happened?” 

“The command center talking to Carlist.” She stared down into her caff. “I blacked out.” She spoke rubbing her arm as if she were trying to warm up. “I blacked out.” 

“Gods, Leia.” 

“I guess that’s why Jedi are traditionally forbidden from having attachments.” 

“How did you explain that?” 

She shrugged. “Carlist has known me since I was just a child, I didn’t have to explain anything. He helped back to my quarters and realized very quickly that didn’t spend most of my time there.” 

..

“Look, it’s good intel.” Leia spoke quietly to Carlist. “I just don’t know that there is anything we can do. I guess if we’re able to locate the system that the New Death Star is expected to be constructed in, maybe we can...” She stopped abruptly, her knees buckling. 

“Your Highness?” He grabbed her as she fell. “Stay with me.” He spoke pulling her back to her feet and bracing her against his side. “I’m taking you to medical.” 

“I’m fine.” She ground out fighting the darkness and the sharp pain in her chest. “I’m fine Carlist, I...” She faltered again. “Han...” She whispered and then everything went black. 

“Your Highness?” Carlist’s voice seemed so far away but she swam toward it. 

She opened her eyes and looked around at her darkened quarters and then at Carlist, his concern for her visible. “Thank you.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her. 

“For not taking me to medical.” 

“Your Highness, pardon me for asking, but are you pregnant?” 

She laughed weakly. “No. There is absolutely no chance of that.” 

He nodded. “Are you alright?” 

She shook her head. 

“You said ‘Han’ before you blacked out.” 

“I felt him die.” She whispered. 

“Oh.” Carlist sat down. “Princess, I’m sorry.” 

..

Han stood in the hatchway listening to Leia recount the moment she felt him die. He needed to talk to Carlist. 

Luke looked at him standing there still shirtless, an angry red scar stretching from his shoulder down across his chest to wrap around his torso just above his waist. He could tell that he was still weakened and slow from the standard bacta sedative as he stood watching them. 

“See somethin’ you like, farm boy?” Han drawled. 

Luke blushed. 

The comment and the reaction had the effect that Han was hoping it would. With the tension of the moment broken by Han’s willingness to flirt good-naturedly with Luke, the conversation was easily steered away. 

“Hope you look at Wedge like that.” Han continued, catching Leia’s eye as she shot him a relieved look. He winked at her, his standard easy smile pulling her out of her own head as he crossed to the galley for a cup of caff. 

“I...” Luke stammered. 

“Gotta nice ass too, ask her Highnessness, she’ll tell ya.” He spoke fixing his caff with his back to them. 

Leia shrugged in acceptance of Han’s statement getting up. 

“You alright?” Han spoke as Leia moved to his side. 

She shook her head. 

He sighed abandoning his caff and slipping his arms around her. Luke watched the tenderness between the two of them, he was surprised at how natural the two of them looked together. He’d watched them yell, watched the push and pull of their relationship he’d felt the tension between them, now all he felt was Leia’s anxiety ebb as she listened to Han’s heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. 

Luke got up walking over to them. “I’m going to go guys.” 

Leia reached out and took his hand, squeezing it for a moment and Han smiled at him.


	4. Permanent Detail

Leia waited for the main hatch to slide shut behind Luke and when she heard it latch, looked up at Han, not sure how to navigate this new intimacy. 

“What do you think princess?” He spoke quietly. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Think Luke is going to go back and tell the Rogues that you’re running around the Falcon in your basics?” He spoke trying to lighten things up. 

She shrugged reaching up and resting her hand against the side of his neck. “Not sure I really care, the sooner their wagers are over the sooner they can start taking me seriously again.” 

“Suppose I could come to your next Command meeting and grab your ass or something.” He spoke taking her hand away from his neck and kneading it gently. 

“I was think of being a little more subtle than that.” 

“Oh?” 

“I think just simply being seen together should put an end to it.” 

“Wanna go to mess out of uniform?” 

“I do need to check in with Command.” 

“You missed morning call.” 

“I’m taking some personal time. I sent a message to Carlist but he hasn’t responded.” 

“Personal time?” 

She nodded. “You’re right, we need some time.” 

“I like the sound of that.” He spoke kissing her gently. “I like the idea of spending time with you away from the watchful eye of your father’s friends.” 

“Where would you take me if you could take me anywhere?” 

He smiled at her kissing her again. “To bed.” 

“You had me in bed earlier hotshot, but you were too tired to do anything about it.” 

“Still am.” He spoke candidly. He could say things like to Leia without feeling insecure. 

“Of course you are, they had to triple the does to put you out, I’m surprised you’re on your feet.” 

He smiled at her. “I’m Corellian.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Come on flyboy.” She took his hand. 

Leia watched the Rogues watch she and Han in the mess hall. They seemed particularly intrigued by how close she kept to Han who was moving slower than normal and letting her take care of him. She’d taken over the contents of his tray when he’d almost dumped his toast and caff on the floor and he was content to let her, staring too long at his boots when she had paused to talk to a couple of data officers. 

“Solo’s fucked up.” Hobbie spoke pouring way too much sucro into his caff. 

“Skywalker said he was almost killed.” Wes spoke sawing at his nerf sausages. “Said he was sliced wide open from shoulder to hip.” He watched Han steady himself with a hand on Leia’s shoulder. 

“You should have stayed in bed.” Leia spoke watching him fold himself into a corner booth. 

“M’fine.” He slurred cozying up to the wall. 

She nodded sitting down next to him. 

“Kriff Leia.” He spoke, blatantly staring at her. “You’re beautiful.” 

“Hush.” She spoke sipping her caff. 

He smiled at her. 

She shook her head. “I think Dansa may have been a bit heavy handed.” 

He nodded. “Feel better though.” 

“Good.” Leia spoke catching Wes make some sort of hand single. “Drink your caff and try not to talk too much.” 

He smiled at her. “Afraid what I might say?” He took her hand. 

She blushed and shook her head but didn’t shake her hand free. 

“He must’ve almost died.” Wedge spoke wrestling the sucro shaker away from Hobbie. 

“Leave them alone.” Luke spoke sitting down with his tray. 

“Weird seeing the princess in civilian clothes.” Gavin poked at whatever fowl eggs they’d served on-line. 

Carlist rapped on their table with his knuckles as he walked by, a sort of unspoken ‘break it up’ request. 

“Carlist.” Leia whispered to Han watching the general head over to them. 

Han nodded fighting his heavy eyelids. 

“Commander.” Carlist spoke sitting down across from them. “Captain.” 

“General.” Leia spoke as he sat down and Han nodded. 

“How are you feeling, Captain?” 

Han looked at Leia. 

“Yes, Leia informed me of the extent of your injuries and I have to say, getting back here with the shipment as promised was a very admirable thing to do considering.” 

Han nodded. 

Carlist looked at Leia. 

“I may or may not have had him sedated and treated in the bacta tank without clearance early this morning.” She spoke watching Han contemplate his caff. “Dansa had to triple to dose and so he’s still really groggy. He was able to do about a half a soak, so he’s still sore and still at risk of contracting another infection.” 

“It was my idea.” Han spoke deliberately. “It’s pay for play on Hosian Prime, didn’t have the credits.” 

“You need to take him back to medical.” Carlist spoke insistently. “He looks horrible.” 

“I ain’t enlisted.” Han looked at him. 

Leia watched the day staff hover around Han as he slept in his medbunk. He’d fallen asleep almost immediately. 

“You should have commed me.” Rieekan spoke quietly. 

“It was 0400 and his fever was so high.” She shook her head. “I—I just reacted.” 

“At least you had the forethought to get up and check on him.” 

Leia shook her head. “His fever was so high, he was soaking wet, it’s a narrow bunk.” 

Carlist raised an eyebrow at her. “How long have you and Solo been taking up with each other?” 

“You’re not my father, Carlist and I’m a grown woman.” 

He held up his hands in surrender. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have asked.” 

“I have night terrors, I...” She sighed. “Carlist.” She looked at him. “I can’t sleep alone. We’ve been bunking together for quite sometime now.” 

He nodded. 

“Carlist?” Leia spoke quietly watching the Emdee droids prep Han for another, longer bacta soak. “Do you think my father would have approved of Han?” 

“You love him, don’t you?” 

Leia nodded. 

“I don’t know that he would approve of Han, but I think he’d like him.” 

She crossed her arms. “I don’t know that they ever expected me to marry a prince.” 

“If I may be candid your highness.” Carlist spoke carefully. “I think they’d be surprised that he’s a man.” 

Leia looked at him. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped.” 

Leia placed her hand on his bicep and laughed. “This from the man who just the other day asked if I was pregnant.” 

“You can understand my concern in that area, you haven’t a lot of experience with men.” 

She cleared her throat. “Yes, but I have always pushed for galaxy-wide comprehensive safer sex education. I am quite well versed in the technical aspects of the major forms of effective contraceptive.” 

“In the heat of the moment?” 

“Though it is clearly none of your business.” She cleared her throat. “We’ve not gotten there.” 

“Might I suggest you see a medic while you’re here?” 

“I’ve already been down that road.” She shrugged. “We don’t have the shot on base. Han has been looking for a black market supplier for years. Shara and the other female enlisted requested his services long ago.” She looked at her nails. “Thanks to Han we have a full supply of hygienes, diaphragms and the pill, but nothing more modern than that.”

“Stars, I didn’t realize we were living in the dark ages. If Irris were alive she’d throw a fit.” 

“I’ve tried that.” 

“Do we at least have condoms available?” 

“Our supplies are very limited. Han brings back a couple of crates each time he goes in a run, but he’s going to be out of commission for a while.” 

“Gods.” 

“If we’re not careful Carlist, we’re going to end up with children on base.” 

He nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.” He embraced her gently and headed off. 

“Carlist?” 

He turned on his heel. 

“My request for R&R?” 

“Approved.” 

She nodded. “Thank you.” 

“Get off planet and go somewhere nice.” 

She nodded. 

“Can I bring you anything?” 

She shook her head. “Thank you.” 

..

“I gotta ask.” Han spoke quietly not wanting to wake Leia who had crawled into his medbunk at some point after his bacta treatment and was currently asleep with her head on his shoulder. 

“Ask what, Captain?” 

“This.” He gestured to Leia. “You’re not going to have me court martialed for this?” 

Carlist laughed quietly. “No.”

Han watched her hand fist his shirt as she slept. “If she starts really freaking out, leave she won’t want you to see her like that.” 

“She told me she has night terrors. I assume it’s Alderaan.” 

“If It were just Alderaan, she wouldn’t mind waking up and seeing you. It ain’t just Alderaan and that complicates a lot of things.” 

Carlist’s jaw tightened. “I’d kill them all if they weren’t already dead.” He growled through his teeth. 

“You an’ me both General.” He spoke rubbing her back gently trying to pull her back from wherever she was before it got too bad. 

“Are you still planning on going to Jabba?” 

Han sighed. “I’ve waited so long now that I’m a dead man.” 

“Does she know?” 

He nodded. “She told me that everyone she’s ever loved has died.” 

Carlist sighed. 

“You enlist and the Alliance will handle your Hutt problem.” 

Han nodded watching Leia sleep. “Alright.” He sighed. “I ain’t in it for you or your cause, I’m in it for her an’ only her.” 

“Understood.” 

“Don’t you try moving me around, I work with Leia an’ only Leia.” 

“Permanent detail.” 

He nodded. “Non negotiable.” 

“Deal.” 

“Want it in writing.” 

“Done.” 

Han shook his hand.


	5. Attached

”Check out Solo.” Wedge spoke as Hobbie passed him a wrench. “Who has that wager about Solo enlisting for the Princess?” He asked as Han walked by wearing Alliance issue on top and Bloodstripes on bottom. “What is that, Commander bars?”

Hobbie nodded. 

“Guess they didn’t want Her Highness pulling rank on her boyfriend.”

“Fuck off, Wedginald.” Han shot back. 

Wedge wolf whistled at him and Han flipped him off as he disappeared into the command center. 

“What’s your ETA, Commander Celchu?” Leia had to almost shout over the comm, something about the ice caused massive amounts of interference. 

“Six standard hours, your highness.” 

“We’ll see you when you arrive Commander. May the force be with you.” 

“What’s that about?” Han spoke standing next to Carlist. 

“Celchu located the Princess’ sister and Bail Organa’s second on Polis Massa, she’s bringing them back here.” 

Han nodded. 

“How did she take the news of your enlistment?” 

“Haven’t told her, wasn’t issued a uniform until this afternoon.” 

“I see they forgot the pants.” Carlist looked at his bloodstripes. 

“Bloodstripes stay.” Han spoke firmly. “Once you earn ’em, you keep ‘em.” 

Carlist nodded watching Leia turn the comm back over to the communications officer. “Commander Solo.” She spoke walking by him. “My office.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He spoke falling into step behind her. 

“Han?” Leia spoke locking her office door behind them. “Is this some sort well orchestrated joke?” She gestured to his Alliance issue uniform. 

“Told you, I was gonna enlist.” He spoke catching her shoulders. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” 

“Made a deal with Carlist.” 

“Oh?” She spoke leaning against her desk. “You made a deal with Carlist?” She crossed arms across her chest. 

He nodded. “I enlist, the Alliance handles Jabba.”

“And what will you be doing for us?” 

He smiled at her. 

“Han, what did he talk you into? You risk enough getting supplies for us.” 

“Relax.” He spoke gently, kissing her forehead. “I’ve been permanently detailed to you.” 

She furrowed her eyebrows at him. 

“I’m your permanent security detail, princess. Wherever you go, I go.” 

“You going to follow me into the fresher, flyboy?” 

“You know it.” He slipped his arms around her. 

She shook her head, reaching up and slipping her arms around his neck. “And you’re sure you’re alright with this?” 

He nodded. “Leia, if I go to Jabba now, I’m a dead man.” He slipped some loose hair behind her ear stroking the soft skin there. “You said it yourself, everyone you’ve ever loved is dead.” 

She closed her eyes as she felt the gravity of his words, her words and the impact they’d had on him and his decision to enlist. He’d changed the entire trajectory of his life for her. “Han...” she started and her voice broke. 

“S’alright Lei.” He spoke gently. “What else was I gonna do? Couldn’t keep running. Those pirates, they wanted to take me to Jabba and claim the bounty for themselves.” 

She nodded. “But you’re sure, you never wanted to get involved before.” 

He sighed. “It’s different now. Guess I’ve gotten attached to you and the kid.” 

She smiled at him. “You do look very handsome.” She spoke letting her hands slip down to straighten his collar. 

“You think so?” 

She nodded. 

“Would you like me to escort you home, your Highnessness?” He kissed her tentatively, there was a tenderness there that was new to her. 

“The Rogues are in rare form today.” Han spoke as they walked out of the east passage into the main hangar. 

“Let them be.” Leia spoke reveling in the comfort of Han’s hand pressed against the small of her back. 

“Whatever you say.” 

She smiled. 

“I’ve heard some chatter about party tonight.” 

“I’m sure you have, you supply them with alcohol.” 

Han laughed. “You’re not supposed to know that.” 

“My best friend is fucking the ringleader.” 

“Hey, I thought I was your best friend.” 

“In a different sort of way. Luke is like my brother, you’re not.” 

“No, I suppose I’m not.” He spoke contemplating the implications of her words. “So, you’re alright with these little unsanctioned get togethers?” 

“It’s good for morale.” 

“You want to go?” 

“I always attend.” 

He smiled at her. “I know, but do you want to go with me?” 

“In a purposeful manner?” 

He nodded slipping his arm around her and pulling her gently into his side as they walked. “Might as well put an end to those Rogue wagers they think we don’t know about.” 

“Alright.” 

“Lookit.” Wes hissed at Luke and Wedge and jerked his head in the direction of Han and Leia as they walked together. 

Luke shook his head and walked off, knowing how Leia felt about the betting pools really took the fun out of it for him. 

“What’s the matter farm boy?” Wes called after him. 

He shrugged and jogged over to Han and Leia. 

“Hey kid.” Han greeted him. 

“You guys are coming tonight, right?” He spoke trying to cover the happiness that welled up in him seeing them so relaxed and comfortable with each other. It wasn’t about a wager for him anymore it was about seeing his two best friends, finally happy together. 

Leia nodded. 

“You coming to dinner tonight?” Han spoke deciding not to let his arm slip from around Leia as he contemplated the implications of standing in an open hangar cozied up to one of the leaders of the rebellion. 

“Sure.” 

“Bring Wedginald.” 

“Alright.” 

“1900 kid.” Han spoke as they parted ways. 

Han watched Leia unzip her snow suit in the lounge, he’d never let himself be so blatant about watching her before. There was something about the way she’d looked at him lately, something that gave him permission to stare. His eyes bored holes in the curve of her neck as she reached down to unfasten her boots and he found himself wondering what she looked like with her hair down. She walked over to him smiling and he felt his mouth go dry at the sight of her, the top of he snow suit hanging around her waist her skin-tight silk base layer clinging to her body. 

“Gods.” He mumbled under his breath as she slipped an arm around his neck. He’d never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her. He pressed his hand against her back fitting her against him. He could feel the warmth of her back through the silk and felt his body respond as it remembered their intense make out session before he’d been almost killed. And suddenly everything slowed down, she kissed him her fingers tangled in his hair tugging gently and bringing him back to the present. 

Han backed her up to the Dejarik table. 

“Oh?” She laughed reaching back with her free hand to stop their momentum. “It’s like that?” 

“What?” He spoke against her neck. 

She shook her head freeing herself from the rest of her snow suit and boosting herself up on the table top effectively leveling their height difference. 

“Wish we’d thought of this the last time.” He spoke as she pulled him to her by his the lapels of his shirt. 

“Han.” She spoke, her voice in a low whisper. “You’re not fucking me on the Dejarik table.” 

He laughed running his hand over the outside of her thigh. “Want to know a secret?” He spoke, his lips against the shell of her ear. 

“M’not sure.” She breathed. 

He smiled at her as he pulled off her base layer top. “Remember Yavin?” 

She nodded slightly leaning back on her hand as he kissed her throat, her chest and back up to her neck, Gods he loved the soft skin there, her other hand tangled in his hair. 

“The medal ceremony.” He pulled her hips tight against him. 

She looked into his eyes, tilting her head examining him as if she could read his thoughts through his hazel eyes. 

“Wanted to fuck you.” He growled into her ear. “Wanted to fuck you right there on the dais.” 

“I’d have locked the doors and let you.” She breathed pulling back to look at his reaction. “Even back then.” She tangled her fingers in his hair. “I wanted you to fuck me on that dais.” She kissed him. “Wish you’d’ve offered.”   
“Thought you were gay.” He spoke against her lips. 

“M’bi, Han.” She smiled at him. “Thought you knew.” 

He shook his head. “Hmm mmm. Thought maybe I was some sort of exception.” 

“Maybe you are.” She spoke rubbing her heel along the back of his thigh. 

He smiled at her. “Careful, princess.” He slipped his hands under her shirt, the smooth therma-silk sliding over the backs of his hands. “Might think you like me or somethin’.” 

“I love you.” She spoke, finally in Basic. 

He stared at her, speechless and hard, she’d said it in Basic. He never thought he’d hear her tell him in Basic. 

She laughed at the expression on his face. “What’s the matter, hotshot?” She spoke having second thoughts that maybe he didn’t want to hear her say it, maybe he didn’t want her like that. “Han?” She spoke her eyes betraying her just enough for him to catch the doubt working it’s way into her mind. 

He smiled at her. “Nothin’s the matter, Lei I just never thought I’d hear you say it.” He pulled her closer. “Thought you were afraid to.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “Love you too, have for a lot longer than I wanted to admit to.” 

She kissed him shifting her weight a bit on the hard tabletop the pain in her back and the odd electric numbness a subtle reminder of her time on the Death Star. Some days were better than others. She was enjoying the advantage of being at eye level, but it was time to move—the pressure on the damaged nerve endings at the base of her spine was too much. 

“Alright, princess?” Han seemed to sense her discomfort. 

She shook her head, annoyed and embarrassed. 

He kissed her forehead. “C’mon sweetheart.” He helped her down. “S’alright.” He slipped his arm around her, taking her weight. Han was the only person who had ever seen her like this. He was the only person who knew about the force lightning and the damage it had done. 

“I’m tired of these annoying little reminders. Like my body will never let me forget.” She spoke sitting in their bunk. 

He sighed stroking her cheek. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately, Lei.” 

“Lie with me for a while?” She looked up at him. 

“You got it, princess.”


	6. Filthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut! Lots of it. I need a fucking cigarette.

“Han?” Leia spoke, kissing his chin. “You awake?” 

“Mmm...” He mumbled his hand pressed against her side just under her shirt. 

“Tell me more about wanting to fuck me on the dais at Yavin.” 

“Mmm.” He mumbled again, catching her lips with his own. “M’awake now.” 

“Bet you are.” She spoke against his lips. 

He moved onto his side and looked at her, his head resting on his pillow. “Mmm.” He spoke slipping his arm around her and pulling her body flush against his. “If we were still there I’d show you.” He kissed her. 

She smiled at him. 

“I’d never seen anything like you.” He spoke moving her onto her back. “Just when I thought it was impossible for you to get any prettier, there you were in that white dress, with all that hair.” He spoke fitting his torso against the cradle of her hips. 

She closed her eyes for a moment feeling the pressure of his body against her. 

“Alright, princess?” He chuckled a bit as she tangled her fingers in his hair. 

She nodded. “Tell me.” She breathed feeling his hands creep up under her shirt, tensed as they explored, so warm, igniting a fiery trail of sensations strong enough to drown out the way her body sometimes burned and ached to the touch. 

“That dress.” He growled in her ear. “When you bent down in that dress...” Han remembered his eyes instinctively exploring the expanse of creamy white skin as Leia bent to place his medal around his neck. He stared at the curves of her breasts, fighting his body’s instinctive physical reaction he remember winking at her and the knowing smile she flashed at him. She’d known exactly what sort of view she’d treated him to and it took everything he had not to fuck her right there on the dais, high command be damned. 

“You liked that dress, did you?” She spoke sitting up just enough for him to pull her shirt off over her head. “Still have—still have that dress.” Her voice caught in her throat as his stomach pressed firmly against her. “It was Mon’s.” She breathed as his hands found her breasts. 

“No kidding?” He kissed the soft skin between her breasts. “Who knew the Chancellor had such a racy dress.” 

“It only looked racy because the bodice was too lose.” She giggled. “You got all hot and bothered over one of Mon’s old dresses.” 

“Pretty sure it was more to do with you bein’ in it.” He growled. “That view.” He moved up a bit for emphasis. 

She looked up at him, hovered over her like a viper his back arched to make up for their difference in height. “I thought you might enjoy that view.” 

“Didn’t figure you gave me much thought.” He spoke as she slipped her arms around his neck. 

“I have wasted way too much time thinking about what you might think.” 

“Have you?” He spoke, kissing her neck

“And how you might feel.” She tilted her head back. “Tell me, what you would have done had we been alone.” She breathed as he shifted again off to the side. The sudden absence of the weight of his body made her ache. “Where are you going?” She breathed suddenly wanting him back, hard and pressed against her, his subtle movements just right. 

“Your birth control up to date?” He spoke reaching across her and taking a condom out of the builtin under his bunk handing it to her. 

She raised an eyebrow at him as he palmed a small vial. “What’s that?” She spoke as he took the condom from her and set them both on the little alcove above them. 

“Lube.” He spoke against her collarbone. “Picked it up just for us, with the last shipment.” 

She smiled at him as he settled his body next to hers on leg draped lazily across hers. He was still hard pressed against the outside of her thigh as his hand warm and softer than she’d expected the first time, found her breast. 

“There were so many godsdamned people around, wanted to wait for you after, wanted to take you back in there and bar those stone doors closed.” He pressed his lips to the shell of her ear. He felt her hands, her thin fingers on his arm grazing his skin with her nails. 

Her words always so carefully crafted just wouldn’t come as his treatment of her ear gave her a good idea of what other wonderful things he could do with that mouth of his. Instead she moaned and moved. She needed him. “Han.” She breathed when her words returned, the only words that returned. 

“Han.” 

And 

“Please.” 

And 

“Fuck.” 

“If you say so sweetheart.” He breathed against her ear feeling her hand brush the front of his blood stripes fumbling with the closures. He tried to scoot away from her, he was far too sensitive, but she was quick and her hands were small slipping inside of his waistband and finding the soft skin there, velvety and hard. He moaned into her ear, low and guttural and reflexive. “Leia.” He spoke her name as if it were sacred, as if it were a prayer or incantation. “Lei-a.” 

“Easy.” He hissed. “Or this will be over before it starts.” He spoke extricating her hand from his trousers and moving onto his stomach. 

She frowned at him and he laughed. 

“I’m saving that for later.” He spoke letting his hand drift down her midline. “Got plenty to do to you first.” 

“Oh?” She breathed willing his hand to drift further down, she could almost feel his hand envelope her. 

“Mmm.” He murmured feeling the muscles of her stomach tighten under his palm. “Wanted to bar those stone doors and fuck you right there on the dais. I wanted to kneel before you...”

“I’m no goddess.” She breathed. 

“Yes you are.” He spoke against her throat slipping his hand under the waistband of her silks. “And you sure as hells were that day.” 

She moaned feeling his hand exploring her. “I should have shaved.” She breathed feeling him run his fingers through the dark curls she was suddenly self conscious about. 

“Rather you didn’t.” He kissed her neck. “I like ‘em.” He gripped the waistband of her silks. “Gotta take these off though.” He spoke peeling off her silks. “Gods.” He spoke with a reverence to his voice as he looked her over. She felt a little self conscious as he settled himself between her legs. She tried not to think about the Death Star, but her mind sort of drifted as she wondered how well she’d healed.

“Han?” She breathed hoping that now that he’d seen her, all of her scars and all he hadn’t changed his mind. 

He’d noticed, but saw it as only a warning to be careful with her, to take things slow and easy and to make sure she knew he wanted her. He kissed the inside of her thigh, trailing kisses from the bend of her knee to the soft crease where thigh met pelvis. “Leia?” He whispered trying to meet her eyes. “You okay?” 

She nodded her eyes still closed, tangling her fingers in his har. 

“Uh uh.” He spoke firmly. “Look at me, princess.” 

She opened her eyes. 

“Talk to me.” He spoke resting his head against the inside of her thigh, giving her time to process, making sure she was still with him. 

“I’m alright, Han.” She spoke quietly, this was the part of intimacy that made her nervous. She wanted to stay in the room with him, but she was so prone to checking out now. The fact that he knew without discussion that he needed to check in with her almost broke her. 

“Talk, princess.” 

She sighed. “I guess I’m just feeling a little self conscious.” 

“Leia.” He spoke his voice soft and gentle as he reached up easily reaching to stroke her cheek. 

“I have Lichtenstein scars all over my torso, I—I know...” She sighed. “I was never self conscious before.” She pressed her thumb and forefinger to her eyes to stop the tears she could feel welling up. “I used to know...I used to believe someone when they told me I was beautiful. Now, I—I...” 

He watched her and waited, letting her talk. 

“I want this, I want you.” She spoke quietly. “Gods, I want you.” 

He moved to lie next to her. 

She breathed for a while and he let her. “Han.” She spoke quietly after what seemed like hours. 

He looked at her. 

She ran her fingers through his hair. “You love me, don’t you.” 

He nodded. “Scars and all.” He spoke not making any moves, waiting for her to come to him. 

“I love you.” She spoke quietly. “And I trust you.” 

He stroked her cheek gently. 

“Han.” She spoke kissing him gently at first. “I need you.” 

“Need me?” He spoke as she pressed the length of her body against his. “I need ya too princess.” 

“I want you.” She spoke pressing her forehead against his. 

“Tell me what you want?” 

She took his hand and watched him raise his eyebrows as she pressed it to her body. “I need you.” She kissed him. “I need you to touch me.” 

Han ran his hand down her back. “Just keep talking to me, Leia.” 

She nodded. 

“Tell me what you want, tell me to stop, tell me to fuck off, but just keep talking.” 

“I want you.” She spoke with her lips against his ear. “And I want to do this, right here, now.” She breathed feeling his hand searching again. “I—we...w-we’ve waited long enough.” She spoke as he moved her onto her back. “B-been though...ah—enough. Almost lost y-you. I n-need...” She breathed feeling his lips leave her breasts and work down her body again, faster this time with more urgency. She knew what was coming next but she gasped in surprise feeling his mouth on her. 

He stopped and looked at her. 

“M’alright.” She breathed pulling on his hair. 

He watched her as he worked, making sure that she was with him with each movement, each change in intensity as he drove on, holding her hips with his free hand, curling his fingers and just the right angle with the other until. 

“Ha-aa.” She sat straight up and pulled at his hair. 

He stopped and rested his head in her lap smiling at her as she caught her breath. “You good princess?” 

She nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Want to keep going?” 

“Take your pants off flyboy.” She spoke leaning against the bulkhead. 

He laughed but was quick to discard his bloodstripes. 

“Hmm, that answers that question.” She laughed. “I wonder if there’s a pool for that.” 

“What?” 

“Your lack of basics.” 

He smiled at her and pulled her onto his lap. She laughed, a real laugh relaxed and without self consciousness. 

“Wish you’d take your hair down. He spoke kissing her. 

“That’s not my job.” She breathed enjoying the way his hands felt on her bare skin. 

“Who’s job is it?” 

“Whomever I marry.” 

He frowned at her. “Alright then...” 

“Don’t you dare ask me right now.” She spoke kissing him. “This isn’t the right time.” 

“Can I take it down?” 

Leia bit her bottom lip. “Maybe.” She spoke gently. “Ask me after.” 

“So, what if I make you come, you’ll let me take your hair down?” 

She laughed. “No, I’d just rather not have it pulled the entire time.” 

He captured her in his arms, tracing her crown braid as it came down. “You need a break?” 

“No.” She kissed his chin. “Luke and Wedge will be here soon. I am not sitting through dinner with those two with my mind on your...”

“Cock?” He growled against her neck. 

“You’re filthy.” She breathed. 

“You like it.” He reached behind her taking his items off the shelf. 

“Mmm.” She laughed against his neck as he took a moment focus. 

“Maybe when we go off planet for your R&R I can get the shot.” 

“Or I can.” He spoke focusing on trying not to tear the condom, he had a few others but he didn’t want to have to stop their forward momentum to grab another one. 

She kissed the shell of his ear urging him on. 

“Gonna have to figure something out, you keep this up and we’ll be out of these little fuckers in no time.” 

“Been a while?” She spoke kissing his neck again. 

“Yeah, Leia it has.” He spoke gruffly. 

“Want me to do it?” 

“Yeah, you think it’s easy, with someone hanging off of your neck.” He kissed her. “Let me breathe for a sec.” 

“You like it.” She spoke, her voice taking on a deeper quality. 

“Yeah, I do, and if one of us had, had the shot I’d be able to show you how much without taking a fumbling condom break.” 

“Give it to me.” She bit his shoulder. 

“That’s what I’m trying to do.” He laughed. 

“The condom, hotshot.” She sat back and looked at him. 

“Got it.” 

Leia raised an eyebrow at him. “Now I know how Shara and Kes feel.” She spoke kissing him. 

“Mmm.” He moved her onto her back. “Fuck it.” He growled burying his face in her breasts. “We’ll both get the shot.” 

She laughed. “Might as well.” 

He held her eyes for a moment and she knew he was making some sort of silent promise to her, she just wasn’t sure what it was. 

“Gods.” She breathed as her body stretched to accommodate him. 

“Fuck Leia, you’re tight.” He spoke moving carefully. “M’not hurtin’ you am I?” He spoke as he tested her a bit. 

She bit her lip watching the tension in his face relax a bit as she matched his rhythm anticipating his next his moves, digging her fingers into his sides as he relaxed finding just the right angle. 

“Ha-an.” She breathed, her voice catching as he sped up a bit. 

He watched her face, watched her close her eyes and relax as he slipped his arms under her shoulder blades. “Kommen sie.” He breathed. “Mi corazon.” He kissed her neck. 

“Komm zu mir.” She moaned in Corellian and it almost broke him. 

“Ja.” He breathed. “Kommen sie.” 

“Ti amo. Kommen sie. Ahora, it’s alright.” She moaned feeling how close he was as he dropped his hand to give her a little assistance. “It’s alright.” She kissed his shoulder. 

“Fuck.” He groaned not able to wait for her. 

She smiled at him. 

“I tired...” He breathed. “I—I...”

“It’s alright.” She soothed holding him close to her breast. “You got me closer than I’ve ever gotten.” 

“Hmm.” He shifted in her arms. “This isn’t over.” 

“It is for now.” She breathed looking at the builtin chrono. “The boys will be here anytime.” 

Han nodded. “Did I hurt you?” 

“Actually, I think you you could be a little less cautious next time.” 

He nodded. “Gotta get over how small you are.” 

“I’m not going to break, Han.” 

“Know that now.” He took off the condom and tied it off. “Think I’ll feel a lot better once we don’t have to use these anymore.” He held it up. 

She scrunched up her nose and punched him in the shoulder. “Scoundrel.”


End file.
